Fresh Valentine's Day ideas for long-term relationships
This year, let’s get back to the roots of our relationships! Intimacy, rediscovery, magic!
You all know how much I love giving you sexy advice and tips on how to crank the heat up in the bedroom. And I have some great ideas for that in >> this << post.
BUT there is so much more to being intimate than getting jiggy between the sheets (or on top of them). And so this blogpost offers fresh Valentine’s Day ideas for long-term relationship couples that have been there, had that dinner and bottle of champagne and are now looking for something fresh to reignite that intimacy.
Let’s look at the word intimacy for a moment:
There are four types of intimacy that you should explore in order to create a deeper connection and bond with your partner:
- Emotional intimacy: involves candid, authentic sharing of thoughts and feelings. It involves being able to tell each other your deepest fears, dreams, disappointments, and most complicated emotions, as well as feeling seen and understood when you do.
- Intellectual intimacy: is sharing whatever you are thinking and your skills. Intellectual intimacy can be your hopes, dreams, fears, and experiences.
- Experiential intimacy: When people bond during leisure activities. People may “sync up” their actions in teamwork or find themselves acting in unison.
All these contribute to a healthy relationship.
Puh, sounds like a lot of work, right?
Luckily, the next few date ideas will cover a broad spectrum of these categories so you’re in the right place for less to-do’s or multi-tasking.
Sexologist Jess O’Reilly, PhD, suggests engaging in activities that reinvigorate the chemicals associated with new and passionate love: hormones like dopamine, adrenaline, and serotonin.
Re-create your first date:
Self-explanatory. By re-creating your first date it brings up all sorts of wonderful memories and should reignite that flame within you and your partner!
A few of my favourite things:
Write a list of some of your favourite things to do, eat, see, lick, touch etc. Pick 3-4 each and do them in one day!
Take a cooking/baking or barista/mixology class together and make that your signature meal/drink! Something that will boost you in difficult times, that you can make for each other to signal intimacy.
Device free zone:
Enjoy a staycation at home with NO DEVICES. Eat breakfast together, read from the newspaper or a book to each other during coffee, ask each other questions about your aspirations and dreams during lunch, have a romantic bath together with all bubbles, candles and more! By allowing yourselves to open in each other’s company, you can relax and give and receive complete intimacy and attention.
Out of your comfort zone:
Plan an activity together that is out of both your comfort zones. For example painting (I thoroughly recommend nude painting classes), flower arrangement class, skydiving, a new workout class, karaoke, learn to dance etc. By both being in the deep end, it will help you get to know each other and probably have a big old giggle!
(COVID regulations abiding ofcourse). What really moved me was to visit a nursing home and listen to stories from those who have lost their spouse. It will give you a sense of nostalgia and strengthen your bond with your partner.
The atmosphere is magic! If you’re not into the real outdoors-pooping-in-a-hole thing, look for glamping: it is the luxury version of camping. Being close to nature, stargazing, away from the buzz of the city will help you settle your soul and enjoy each other’s presence!
Go to the theatre / a comedy show / opera:
Culture gives us new impulses and giggling or sharing these emotions with each other bonds us infinitely more than staying indoors and watching a streaming show.
Let’s face it: we’re all stressed and tense. Find a massage parlour that does couple massages and allow yourselves to just relax. You can go for a nice meal after if you don’t fall asleep!
Whether you are in the buff or not, taking photos together or of each other individually is a wonderful way to show your partner how you see them through your eyes. Put the pictures together in a little book and you’ll have something to remember.
Write each other a letter:
This is one for the long-term. Married couples often fall into radio silence in terms of love language. We might say “I love you” but we often forget to tell our partner about the little details of why we care about them. Here are some tips (from lifehack.org):
- Use an intriguing opener.
- Tell the person exactly why you’re taking the time to write.
- Discuss a happy memory the two of you shared.
- Mention your beloved’s best qualities.
- Talk about the difference he or she has made in your life.
- Choose the right stationery for your letter.
- Pen and paper is best for short notes.
- Choose a romantic font.
- Write your letter and let it sit for a day or two.
- Your letter doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful.
Valentine’s Day has been commercialised to no avail.
But we don’t have to put money in all those pockets.
These fresh Valentine’s Day ideas for long-term relationship couples will be a hit.
All we really need is love and affection.
Let’s not get carried away with gifts.
And if you’re still struggling, try telling them something “nice”, like:
- You have the best laugh.
- You’re that “Nothing” when people ask me what I’m thinking about.
- Aside from food, you’re my favorite.
- I bet you sweat glitter.
- You should be thanked more often. So thank you!!
- You’re more fun than bubble wrap.
- Somehow you make time stop and fly at the same time.
You get the idea. Good luck xx