How to initiate (free cheat sheet!)

Why You Haven’t Been Initiating Sex—And How to Change That

Let’s talk about initiation. Specifically, why you haven’t been doing it, why you don’t, and how you can—if you actually want to.

If you’ve ever hesitated to make the first move—whether out of fear of rejection, social conditioning, or just plain overthinking—you’re not alone. Many of us (especially women) have been subtly taught to wait for the other person to take the lead. But here’s the reality: when initiation is more balanced, everyone wins. More intimacy, less pressure on one person to always start things, and—let’s be real—way better sex.

Why You Haven’t (Yet)

• Fear of Rejection: What if they say no? Guess what? Rejection happens to everyone—and it’s not a reflection of your desirability.
• Social Conditioning: You’ve been told it’s “more attractive” to let them take the lead. (Spoiler: That’s outdated nonsense.)
• Bad Timing: Maybe your libidos don’t always match up, so you hesitate to try. (Hint: Paying attention to your partner’s natural rhythms can help.)
• Not Feeling Sexy: Hard to channel your inner seductress when you’re in a messy bun and three-day-old leggings.

How to Change That (If You Want To)

• Start Small: A lingering kiss. A flirty text. A playful touch. It doesn’t have to be grand.
• Get Yourself Turned On First: If you feel sexy, initiating will come naturally. Watch, read, or fantasize about something that excites you.
• Use Words (or Actions): Whether it’s a confident “Come here” or just climbing into their lap, go with what feels natural.
• Make It a Game: Teasing, flirting, and playful power moves can make initiation fun rather than stressful.

Want a quick, easy breakdown of different ways to initiate (without overthinking it)?

Grab the Free Cheat Sheet!

I’ve put together a free, downloadable cheat sheet with simple, no-pressure ways to start initiating in a way that feels authentic to you. Whether you’re bold or more subtle, there’s a style for everyone.

Download the Free Cheat Sheet Here

It’s time to own your pleasure. Ready to make the first move?